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Because I don't Want to Study ~ Thursday, May 8, 2008
 Finals are next week and I am so unmotivated. I am also sick, which sucks big balls-I ended up lip-singing my entire choir concert last night. I guess you win some and you lose some.
It looks like Rain and Colbert had their dance off which I loved. I'm not sure what is up with Rain's hair though.
nothing much else to say-I guess I should start studying (which really means that I will continue to surf the internet to further procrastinate =P).
taken away at - 07:30 p.m.
I'll Say Goodbye (to Love) ~ Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I've decided to get rid of my beloved piano, against my better wishes. I really have no place to put it and no funds to keep it in a storage space (not to mention one that would have to be tempurature-regulated). So the next best thing would be to donate it (because I am against selling things when I can see them go to those that can really use them).
But it can't be just any donation-it has to be to an elementary school that is lacking in the performing arts deparment (which covers a lot of the elmentary schools in this area). By donating the piano to a school that can use it to hopefully enlighten children musically my heart can be lifted. I'll start making calls to the school boards this week.
For the sake of reminiscense, here are a couple pictures of the piano and I:
I was around the age of 10 at this time, and definately an 80s kid rockin' the neon blue shirt and pink socks.
My reaction when my brother decides to steal my thunder. It's always hard being the youngest! =P
My ultimate goal is to have this baby in my home (in a room that will be made into my own studio). I also wouldn't mind this one either (which is the one Yoshiki has in his home).
Anyway, enough about pianos. The bf has found a place to stay with one of our old roommates in SD, which is about 80 miles away from where we live now. I will stay where we are (in boonieville, mind you) until I am at least finished with my BA, which will be another year. I am of course saddened that we will be seperated, but I know the move will be good for both of us-the commute is hard on the bf which in turn becomes hard on the relationship. The bf will also be able to bring in my clients by actually living in the area he works in. By the way, I officially own (well, co-own with the bf) my own business! Woo!
I got together with one of my best friends last weekend who commented on how we have lost touch. It has made me realize that when left to my own I really can get lost in myself. I need to make more of an effort to keep in touch, yet I find it increasingly hard to do so. More and more, the thought of curling up on the couch with the kitties sounds much more enticing than going out and socializing (or picking up the phone to chat for that matter). It all seems like so much work to me sometimes.
taken away at - 10:40 p.m.
On the Lighter Side of Things ~ Saturday, April 26, 2008
The Rain/Colbert "feud" continues...
I love this clip. I'm not a huge fan of Rain but some of his songs are catchy.
taken away at - 12:00 a.m.
Torn ~ Friday, April 25, 2008
Written a couple days ago:
Its getting down to the crunch of the end of the semester and I am slowly losing motivation and finding myself dawdling more than finishing those proposals due at the end of the week. Playing Restaurant Empire is just more stimulating even if its only a simulation game. Who knew that ratings could be brought down by complaints about how much paprika was put on that roast? Some people are just too hard to please.
I am at school on a break between classes and cannot seem to concentrate on finishing up these analyses needed for those proposals that still need to be finished. I am distracted, greatly, by a pulling tug in my heart that has left me feeling strongly unsettled for many months.
I have not wholeheartedly agreed with my "final" decision to put music on the side and focus more on my academics in psychology. The performing arts and humanities buildings are across the way from each other on campus and each time I'm in either one I feel as if I take on the appropiate persona-I become a musician and can unpeel the protective layers of my personality as I let go and sing or I become an experimentor and sit back to contemplate potential hypotheses of classical conditioning and memory processes. How can the two come together as one?
As I've gotten to know more music students I've realized that I am missing out on many opportunities a major in music may hold. Yet I am not sure if acquiring another BA is wise when I am busting my ass off in preparation for a doctorate program in psych. Do I stop and go for another BA? Then what? Money is a concern since I take out loans and then there is my age to take into account when I am well into my 20s-what about when/if I want to start a family?
I am not sure what I want to do.
How funny that when I write that sentence someone comes up to me and asks me to participate in her experiment on cultural/societal norms and affection which got me eagerly discussing the topic because I am a research nerd.
I'll have to ponder a bit more on my dillema and seek the advice of one of my professors. There has to be a way to find more equilibrium in my life.
On another note my dad wants to get rid of my piano that he has been keeping for me at his place. I have no place to put it, especially since I have been moving every year for the past five years. Its an upright that you could probably buy for a few hundred bucks but I hold much sentimental value for it-probably because it is mine and I learned to play on it, plus it provided a lot of comfort during my adolecent years of angst in which I moodily plunked its keys. But I have to think of how sensible it would be to put it in a storage spot when I am already broke-ass poor. Apparently that should be enough to tell me to get rid of it. I'm not sure what to think when my dad says to me hey, I'm getting rid if your piano unless you want it so I can put something else in that spot. And when I ask what hebis getting to replace the piano he says he doesn't know yet but can you take the piano now? I kind of feel the same way I did when my dad said hey, I put your dog down yesturday and got rid of your fish. Oh, did you want those? (ok, I added that last part.) my dad isn't a totally inconsiderate and insensitive person, I just don't think that he thinks of how his actions affects other people (my mom isn't around to keep him in check anymore).
So, I am torn. Even if the semester is almost completed I feel unsettled and slightly uneasy. Hopefully I can come to some kind of resolution sooner rather than later.
taken away at - 07:04 p.m.
I'm Covered in Bees! ~ Friday, April 11, 2008
I ran across this video today which seems fitting since I had a bee fly into my shirt while driving to the store today. I started screaming like a little girl and the bf almost crashed the car while trying to flick the little thing off me. He succeeding in getting the bee to burrow into my shirt the first few time and my screaming reached a few higher decimals before he managed to flick the bug out the window. I usually don't have a problem with bees-unless they're trying to snuggle my boobs, which I at least require a dinner date beforehand.
That video clip does makes me feel sad for the bees though, funny enough.
taken away at - 07:54 p.m.
Spring Break! ~ Saturday, March 29, 2008
I have been looking forward to this week since like, two months ago. I am definately feeling the heat from school and I know it will only continue to grind me into the ground until the semester ends. Yesturday after my class I decided I was going to take the day off from any schoolwork, yet every other minute I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I needed to be doing something more productive. Nevertheless, I kicked my heels back and watched the first two seasons of The Office on netflix. =P
There are things that must eventually be done though, and myself being the responsible adult I am will do them. But only after I've finished another movie or two, and perhaps a couple videogames as well. =P Next weekend will be spent crammed in a two bedroom cabin with twelve family members. I'm hoping we all don't kill each other but i'm sure it will be an interesting time.
I'm off to do more of nothing. =P
taken away at - 10:57 a.m.
Curse You Daylight Savings Time ~ Tuesday, March 11, 2008
I was totally ambivolent to the fact that time surged ahead one hour today. Sure, when the bf woke up he informed me that daylight savings was in full effect-to which I replied by rolling to the other side of the bed and shoving the pillows in my face because the bf insists on putting the light on when he wakes up.
I am usually up until about 3am each morning doing get this-schoolwork. What a dedicated little bookworm I am. But seeing as it is now 3 when my body is still used to it being 2-well, its going to be an extra late night folks.
I am still comtemplating over whether I am still insane with the classload I have and if I will truly make it through the semester with some kick-ass grades. My goal right now is simply to survive until spring break at the end of the month-school should hopefully mello out then.
The bf and I am moving this weekend. I am telling you that I am so tired of moving places that I'm willing to start selling almost everything I own just so I don't have to pack it in a filthy box that has been used in the previous seven moves and have to lug it from one place to the other. I will be definately be glad when spring break arrives!
taken away at - 03:03 a.m.
Sick ~ Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I am still sick. I think I may have bronchitis which I'm going to get checked out tomorrow-I know there isn't much you can do for bronchitis except suck down cough suppressants but as someone who doesn't usually see a doctor I figure it is time to start being proactive about the situation. I think I inhereted my mother's dismay for medical advice and she found out too late that she had cancer. I need to not follow down that path and try to take better care of myself by going to the doctor when I am not well.
Not much else has been going on, I'm mostly just trying to keep up with my schedule and staying on top of things. The bf is headed to the east coast soon to visitt his family down there. I don't know what I'm going to do without him for a week. =( I wish I could take a vacation.
taken away at - 11:49 p.m.
Man... ~ Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Six more weeks of winter.
=(
I am becoming a cranky old lady-I hate being cold! It makes my muscles tense up and my whole body writhe with pain. Damn you winter! *shakes fist*
On top of being cold I am also sick. (woe is me) And I am once again trying to take on probably too many classes at once. There is nothing worse than trying to focus your mind on something when you are doped up with cold medicine. 0.o
I hope everyone is keeping warm this winter-I am already counting down until spring.
taken away at - 11:24 p.m.
End of Vacation ~ Friday, January 18, 2008
Its almost time to go back to school and I can say that I've definately done my fair share of procrastinating. So much in fact, that I feel just a smudge guilty that I do not get all the things done that I said I was going to do. I am ready to get back to the grind though and am going to try to get as much accomplished this semester as possible. My sleeping patterns are all out of wack from staying up late and sleeping way in. The first week back will surely be bittersweet.
Its been pretty cold this winter. I'm realizing that the cold is starting to make me cranky in my old age. =P I'm looking forward to summer already!
taken away at - 03:39 a.m.
man... ~ Monday, January 7, 2008
It seems that each time I step into my car I realize more things were stolen than previously thought, such as my gate remote, which I not only discovered when I pulled up to the gate, but realized someone now has full access to the complex. And now I just discovered that my Dir En Grey and Hyde cds were also taken which was kind of hard to believe because I don't think the average joe smoe knows who these artists are. Why the hell take the cds? I don't have many cds these days thanks to the good ol' internet, but the cds I do take time to buy are usually ones I choose with care.
sigh. =(
taken away at - 07:50 a.m.
Happy New Years! ~ Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Hello all! Just wanted to make a quick post to bring in the new year-while last New Years was brought in with plenty of debauchery, ringing in '08 was much quieter as it was just the bf and I (and kitties) hanging out at home. It was a great way to relax and bring an end to the busy festivities.
I have no solid resolutions for the new year, except that I would like to live more for "today" rather than "tomorrow". Dear Abby has a wonderful posting on how to meet this goal:
JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.
I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct and accept those I cannot.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.
Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.
Hoping everyone has a great start to 2008!
BTW: Guess whose voice still melts my heart... =)
taken away at - 01:39 a.m.
Happy Holidays! ~ Monday, December 24, 2007
Despite having my car broken into, I will be making the most of this holiday season. Have a great and safe Christmas!
taken away at - 02:25 p.m.
"A Piece of Household Rubbish" ~ Thursday, December 20, 2007
This story saddens and angers me.
There is no easy way to avoid emotional trauma when you adopt a child, no matter how young or old the child is when adopted. Discarding a child because of the child's inability to fit in socially/culturally disgusts me. I was definately no picnic basket to raise when my parents adopted me and have only in recent years learned to be comfortable with who I am.
In other news-I archived my old entries but have kept up tis layout. I am rather fond of it (and too lazy to deal with html =P).
I am on my second week of break and am almost over having nothing to do-but not quite. I will let myself procrastinate for a few more days (amidst holiday preparations) and then kick my butt into gear to get some academic tasks completed.
Until them, I'm off to play around with my new iphone. =)
taken away at - 02:13 a.m.
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| ABOUT THIS LAYOUT |
Asrun Dream was named after a song written by Gackt.
Translations for Asrun Dream can be found here.
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